Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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