...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
