The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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