I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
