There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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