I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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