My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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