a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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