i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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