I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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