Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
