He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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