I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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