I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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