So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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