I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize