This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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