my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
