That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
