Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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