we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
