have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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