Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
