I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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