This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
