i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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