Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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