we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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