I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize