i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
