Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
