can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
