why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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