I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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