he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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