Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

Wtf?

(225): View more from Louisiana

Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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(516): View more from New York

I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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(818): View more from California

Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.

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(585): View more from New York

She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.

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