Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

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  (901): can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you. http://tfl.nu/uemu
  Replies (10) Good night (3170) Bad night (758)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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  (313): Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater. http://tfl.nu/ei9l
  Replies (25) Good night (5172) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application

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  (239): they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application http://tfl.nu/aq16
  Replies (7) Good night (3628) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup

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  (508): i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup http://tfl.nu/58kh
  Replies (11) Good night (1084) Bad night (4430)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze

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  (305): we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze http://tfl.nu/vupv
  Replies (14) Good night (5557) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.

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  (715): My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it. http://tfl.nu/q7ku
  Replies (3) Good night (3222) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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  (215): I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me. http://tfl.nu/0b6p
  Replies (6) Good night (3284) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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  (518): Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy. http://tfl.nu/6ng1
  Replies (5) Good night (3873) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

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  (709): Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank? http://tfl.nu/b51n
  Replies (5) Good night (2154) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.

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  (202): incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay. http://tfl.nu/a1k2
  Replies (8) Good night (1543) Bad night (2716)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2435) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  am i gonna have visuals on this?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire

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  (949): am i gonna have visuals on this? (414): you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire http://tfl.nu/3sug
  Replies (13) Good night (1678) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

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  (254): Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table http://tfl.nu/xk9z
  Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times

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  (941): He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times http://tfl.nu/ygnh
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea

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  (727): I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea http://tfl.nu/2xog
  Replies (0) Good night (316) Bad night (254)

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