Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND