At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
