make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
