my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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