I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
