I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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