I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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