Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
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I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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