Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
