i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
