its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
