we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
