Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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