Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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