She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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