My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
