Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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