Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
