I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the day after is always just damage control
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
