Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
