When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
