Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
