youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
