i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
