this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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