I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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