When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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