There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This is classic penis vs brain.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
