It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
