Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
